events

I am once again faced with another task of making a decision.

I have to decide whether I'll stay here in Proj. 4, or move back to Marikina (where I grew up) to stay with my other aunt, Mommy, who is now "living alone" 'coz her youngest son, Ellis, left for New Zealand and looks like he and his wife will be living there for a long time. (Me and my siblings have gotten used to calling her Mommy since we're young).

It was Mommy's birthday yesterday and I've spent overnight with her since May 2 so I can accompany her with her annual ritual of attending mass in Antipolo. Ellis had always been the one to go with her. I opted to go for I don't want her to commute all alone especially since she didn't know how to go to Antipolo via public transpo.

She's a breast cancer survivor and getting old. And that made me ask myself "what if I stay/live with her?". That's why after I've spent the whole day with her yesterday, I've told her to just let me know if she wants me to stay with her. She told me to discuss it with my Auntie Tessie (my aunt here in Proj. 4).

It gave me cold feet. Why? I really don't know. Maybe 'coz it's another major step. It's somehow leaving my comfort zone here. Or is it really? Since yesterday, I was thinking whether I should really leave or not. Suddenly, there were a lot of factors to consider. Also, I'm kind of dreading this kind of discussion with Auntie Tessie. I'm not sure how she'll react or what she'll say. Or could it be that I'm scared to see that she's just waiting for me to say that I'm moving out and can't wait to give her go signal? Haaayyy...

I wanna go escaping again... *sigh*